“If we sit with an increasing stillness of the body, and attune our mind to the sky or to the ocean or to the myriad stars at night, or any other indicators of vastness, the mind gradually stills and the heart is filled with quiet joy.” – Ravi Ravindera
I didn’t realize how much I worked until I rested.
I didn’t realize how much I grab my phone to distract myself until I lost it.
I didn’t set out on a quest of discovery, it just sort of happened.
I found myself a couple months ago sitting on my couch with this quiet discontent. A feeling that I should be “doing” something, but so exhausted from the constant motions of my life, that all I really was capable of doing was sitting. It felt strange yet at the same time I felt this nostalgia from childhood when watching clouds dance was enough.
I wasn’t meditating. I wasn’t contemplating. I wasn’t praying.
I simply sat.
A time of not being filled by to-do lists, expectations, the daily grind, or the pursuit of dreams.
A moment to breathe deep and see the actual life that surrounds me.
A reprieve of doing and simply being.
I don’t do stillness. I do excitement and energy and passion. I do loud and raunchy with dance parties in the kitchen. I do fast paced, don’t slow down, make the most of every moment.
Which is probably why these times of doing nothing have somehow become my life line.
Without taking a pause to simply sit and be in my life, I am unbalanced and chaotic. I run on empty of the essence that fuels my soul and am over committed by tasks.
There is power in sitting. In observing. In being.
It says this moment is enough. I am enough. I don’t need more or less. I can find peace because I am not running away. I am not distracting myself to oblivion in hopes of finding inner joy. I’m not using the mindset of “if only I get through this one thing, I will find happiness”, I won’t push the responsibility of my mental state onto others.
Sitting here, allowing nothing to roam around my mind, my stress to leave in the deep breaths I take, and feeling calm settling deep.
I am learning to sit more. Not read, or write, or plan, or play on my phone, but taking moments to see my life and simply just be in it. We are all busy. We all feel rushed and constantly behind. Taking a moment or two to just breathe seems daunting, easy to shrug away, but it is a habit worth forming. Simply getting to your next destination a few minutes early and sitting in the car, or dedicating to no phone and no tv for five minutes before bed can be enough.
Because a kite that is flying but not connected to the earth is simply just lost.